[lug] Linux Genuine Advantage (humor)

Robert Racansky robert.racansky at gmail.com
Mon Aug 27 08:32:54 MDT 2007

Apologies if this has been posted here before.  This weekend's outage
of Windows Genuine Advantage makes it timely.


Linux Genuine Advantage™

Linux Genuine Advantage™ is an exciting and mandatory new way for you
to place your computer under the remote control of an untrusted third

According to an independent study conducted by some scientists, many
users of Linux are running non-Genuine versions of their operating
system. This puts them at the disadvantage of having their computers
work normally, without periodically phoning home unannounced to see if
it's OK for their computer to continue functioning. These users are
also missing out on the Advantage of paying ongoing licensing fees to
ensure their computer keeps operating properly.

To remedy this, we have created a new program available as a required
free download: Linux Genuine Advantage™!

Linux Genuine Advantage™ works by checking our licensing server
periodically to make sure that the copy of Linux you are running is
Genuine. This is determined by whether you have paid us the
appropriate licensing fees. If you are out of compliance, and are past
the grace period, logins to your machine will be disabled until the
license fees are paid. How to log in to enter the license key when
logins are disabled is left as an exercise for the reader.

Finally! Linux users can experience a feature that until now remained
the exclusive domain of proprietary software.

Once you've installed Linux Genuine Advantage™, you'll want to
register and send in your licensing fees to receive these important

    * Your computer, which worked just fine before, will continue
functioning normally!
    * Our software which you just installed will not disable logins on
your computer (as long as our license server keeps working properly)!
    * It's totally awesome!
    * We might not raise the yearly licensing fees in the future!

Plus, if you act now, we promise not to launch unfounded lawsuits
against you, slander you or our competitors in the press and the
courts (possibly by using other smaller companies as pawns), or
require you to pay us for software you won't use on every new computer
you buy!

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